I was struck this week with this truth:

I do no know how to  dream for myself, how to believe that there is a purpose and future out there for me to attain.

this is a bid deal. a big reality.

but rather than let this overwhelm me. get me down. I turned to God. lifted it to Him in prayer. asked for His hand on me to give me the ability to learn this skill.

I am accustomed to recognizing areas I have not exercised. and learning to exercise these weakened muscles. it’s not that I am without the ability to learn this. it is a skill I need to learn. practice. repeat. this I can do.

for me, it starts with prayer. ends there, too, for that matter.

here are the words God gave me in that first prayer.

“Use my hands for healing. My voice for boldness. My life for worship”

it is my daily prayer now. I know not what it means. YET. but I know as I practice taking this to prayer. process with my counselor and THE Wonderful Counselor. take the next right step. and the next one after that. I will begin to see this skill become a habit. a belief. a truth I live.

I am both excited and nervous to see how my life. my beliefs. my faith. is transformed as I make this new truth a belief. it is big. shaking the cobwebs off old beliefs and replacing them with new profound realities is big work. from inside out. in fact it is in the inside work  that big outward changes happen. unmasking the false beliefs is always freeing. but it takes perseverance. daily recognizing when old lies creep in, attempting to worm their way back into my heart. daily reminding myself of new truths. repeating the TRUTH to my  self. breathing them in. breathing out the old.

this is work I have done before. it is achievable. I will do this. I am accustomed to hard work. deep faith. I am daily being freed because I have forever been freed by the blood of my Saviour.

‘Use my hands for healing. my voice for boldness. my life for worship”

 

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2 thoughts on “dreaming

  1. Press in…this is beautiful and you are on a path to freedom. It is astounding that we (I am incredibly part of this we…) so easily and quickly lose our ability to dream and hope, and His word tells us that ‘without a vision, the people will perish.’ Sounds like you have found the vision…and now you will find life. HUGS.

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